


Invisible

by TheConsultingAlex



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 13:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3694787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheConsultingAlex/pseuds/TheConsultingAlex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard to keep strong when the voices are telling you to let go.<br/>Maybe he should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invisible

**Author's Note:**

> This is majorly focused around self harm/suicide so if that makes you uncomfortable or upset, please don't read this fic.

_‘You’re nowhere near as talented as your friends’_  
 _‘You’re not going to get anywhere in life’_  
The voice in Logan’s head tormented him. He’d locked himself in the bathroom and had been sobbing in there for the past half hour. He didn’t want them to see him in this state.   
Each day Logan heard the voices. He always hid it from his friends because not only did he not want to worry them, but it made him seem weak. Sobbing over words in his head. Words that he was telling himself. Who does that?  
_‘Oh, stop crying, you wuss. Is it any wonder why the boys never get you involved in anything?’_  
He tried to ignore the voice. Maybe if he didn’t listen, it’d go away and never come back. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw the wreck that he had become. His eyes were red, his skin was pale and his hair was sticking to his head. The voice in his head returned.  
_‘Wow. Look at you. You’re a mess’_  
Logan shook his head, trying to shake the voice out. Then, he forced himself to try and think of good things. His brains. He was smart. He could answer any question and could think of anything…  
_‘Yes. But that’s all you can do. Think. You can’t even enjoy things or have a personality. All you think about is logic. You put your brains before your best friends, you selfish person’_  
That was Logan’s breaking point. “SHUT UP!” he screamed, punching the mirror. All the anger and sadness that he hid from his friends had finally become too much.His eyes darted around the room and in the corner he spotted it.  
A blade.

Suddenly, he heard banging on the door. “Logan, everything alright?”. It was Kendall.   
“You’ve been in there a long time, man” James said.  
“What’s wrong?” Carlos added.  
 _‘Great work, idiot. Now you’ve got your friends worried. Why did you have to scare them? Why did you have to bother them?’_  
“I’m fine…” Logan lied, his voice shaking.  
“No, you’re not” Kendall said “Logan, what’s wrong?”  
 _‘Well, what’re you going to do? You could tell them and get them even more worried, or...’_

Logan remained silent and grabbed the blade that lay on the side. Then, he dragged it across his skin. As the blood started dripping down his arm, it mixed with his tears then fell onto the floor in a crimson pool.   
After that, he made one mark for each person he felt he’d let down. And that was a lot of people. One for Kendall. One for Carlos. One for James. One for Mrs. Knight. One for Katie. One for his mom. One for his dad. One for Gustavo. One for Kelly. Then he lost count.  
“Logan? Logan, what’s going on in there?” James asked, worried.  
“I’m sorry” Logan said, only just audible.  
After a moment of silence, he heard Kendall shout “LOGAN!”  
 _‘End it’_  
“Logan! Stop it” Carlos screamed  
_‘Quick. Do it before they can stop you’_  
“Logan! DON’T!” James bellowed.  
_‘Go on. One more mark is all it’ll take’_  
“PLEASE!” Kendall shouted.  
_‘Don’t listen to them. Do it’_  
Then, Logan gave in. He did it. One last stroke. One last mark for the person he’d let down the most.

One cut for Logan.

 

 


End file.
